This is where we tell Family Stories.. Very funny! True.... We wouldn't lie!!!
The Camp Story!
It all started that horrible to begin day... September 27, 2008. We were about to go to Uncle Steve's Campout. Breanna, Aunt Margie, and Uncle Joe came by my house to pick me up. We were driving there, when I told Breanna a scary story about a dog. She said, "Jackie, you know I hate SCARY STORIES!!!" ;( We arrived at Uncle Steve's house. We met these mean girls, and named them Mean 1, Mean 2, and Mean 3! We thought we would get our own tent, but later learned that we had to share with a mean little girl who threatened to burn our hair,(I know, weird!) and a annoying little boy who tried to blind us with a flashlight. This was the beginning of a HORRIBLE experience that was about to unfold!!! Another choice was to sleep with flatulant Uncle Steve, who had too many extra servings of chili that night! ;() We started to build a fort, but Mean 123 had another idea... They wanted to use it as a trail. One of them got dirty(physically) and decided to change clothes with everyone else in there.. One word.. DISGUSTING! Our cousin Isaac found two grasshoppers on top of each other, and busted through our tent saying, "Ew! Look, they're MATING!!!" We calmly replied, "Nice to know.." He then threw the grasshoppers against a tree and made them squish, and he said, "They died together!" "Well, ain't that lovely!" We said. Mind you, ALL of the Means plus a few other anonymous girls(3, to be exact) all slept in a VERY SMALL almost as small as this text, together! GROSS! It started to get dark, we asked Uncle Steve where we were going to sleep, because we DID NOT WANT OUR HAIR BURNED OR TO LOSE OUR EYESIGHT! Uncle Steve said that "You can sleep in the red tent! With no one else!" Well, later we learned that drunk Ryan was sleeping in that tent! So, not wanting to sleep in there either, we slept in the BIG red tent along with Brandy, Isaac, Caitlin, and Destiny.. What we did not know was something very wrong was about to happen! Isaac and Destiny decided to wrestle at 11:00 pm and started cussing. It started to get hectic, and me and Breanna's head was being stomped on with BOOts! Gladly, we had sleeping bags, and we did not have to use the matress. At 1:00 in the morning, Breanna woke me up and wanted me to walk her to Uncle Steve's house (which was about 100 meters away)and go to the bathroom. Not counting the time when I heard someone crying their head at about midnight. It was Brandy, wanting to go home. The next morning we woke up and saw that Caitlin, Destiny and Isaac were gone!!!! We got up at about 6:00 AM and started making pancakes! We found that if you put tiny drops of pancake batter on the griddle, or pan and let it cook for 30 seconds on both sides, it tastes LIKE A CRACKER!!! ;) We made a Mickey Mouse pancake which was smokin', and a gun pancake, letter pancakes, donut pancakes, and swirly pancakes.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Sorry it took so long!!! Kinda busy... Now, where were we? Oh yes, the crackers!
And after that, we went over to play. But, Mean 1, 2, and 3 had a different idea. There was a giant sheet on the ground near the woods. They decided to hold a sucky birthday party!!! It turns out it was one of the creeps' birthdays!!! Aunt Neecy wanted us to play a game called Long Hair Mary. It's a game where you put a sheet over your head and you get chased by EVERYONE else and get WHIPLASH!!! Well, the Means had five chairs... Only 4 girls! They wouldn't let us have the sheet! They used it as a freakin' mat!!! It's a sheet not a mat!!!! Idiots!! Then I started to take some pictures with my phone... Evidence, you know. After that, Destiny decided to get dirty...very dirty! (PHYSICALLY!!) She had gotten into a pile of ashes and started rolling around in it! Wow how smart!!! I had my camera and filmed it! After that, it was pretty much nothin'. Thank you for reading one of my weird, but true, Family Stories!!!
Story #2: The Dr. Pepper Story!
You may already know about Dr. Noodle, but here's a new Dr. story!!! One day, I was getting me and Breanna something to drink. The only soda I had was Dr. Pepper and Diet Coke. Easy choice!! I leaned over toward the wall (that was where the soda was,) and asked Breanna, "Do you want a Dr. Pepper?" WELL, since I was facing the wall, Breanna misunderstood me and thought I said, "WHAT?!?! Did you say I want a Dr. Pervert?!?!" I said, "NOOOO!!!! DR. PEPPER!!!" And after that day, it has never been the same.... Thank you reading!!!
The End!!
Story #3: The Subway Incident
This happened just the other day, and it is very strange... So, I'm making my order for my sandwich, and when I ask for 'lots of mayo', she freaks out. I mean, she literally WIGS OUT!!!! She practically YELLS, "I LIKE MAYONAISSE!!! DO YOU LIKE IT???!?!!? I LOVE IT!!!!" This person reminded me of Pam very much... It was almost scary how much it resembled her... Too scary... Anyway, I say, "Okay..." And she still rambles on about how she likes mayonaisse. "A SANDWICH JUST WOULDN'T BE COMPLETE WITHOUT LOTS OF MAYONAISSE, YA KNOW?!?!!?!" Seriously, lady... Take a chill pill!! "I HAVE TO SAY, THIS IS THE BEST SANDWICH I'VE SOLD TODAY!!!!" She was REALLY starting to get on my nerves! And mind you, there was this OTHER lady, who had dark hair, and she looked like she was going to shoot herself. "IT JUST HOLDS IT ALL TOGETHER, YA KNOW?? IT MAKES IT... JUICY AND SQUISHY!!" Woah, lady... A little weird?? Try ALOT!!! I'm getting ready to pay, and I give her one of those cards where you get a dollar off, or something like that. "Oh, it's one of those dollar off things... Okay.." The dark haired lady says glumly. "OH, THE DOLLAR OFF THING!!!!!! YOU HAVE ONE OF THOSE??? WE HARDLY GET ANY OF THOSE!!!" The hyper lady screamed. "Huh..." I say, grab my sandwich and leave! (After paying, of course!!)
Story #4: Burmese Python vs. Mouse
Hehehe... XD Anyways, last Sunday I went to the Reptile Show with my dad and my cousin Isaac. While we were there he bought a Burmese Python that was already about 3 feet long for $60. Note that they can get up to 35 FEET LONG... Then today we went to the Tie-Dyed Iguana and bought 24 mice for my two snakes and a dozen live mice for his python. Then I drove back to his house and we grabbed one of the live mice and threw it into the snake tank. The snake seemed like he didn't give a rat's *** and just ignored it. Then the stupid mouse started climbing all over the snake, and the python just had this expression that said: "Dude... Get the HECK away from me!" The mouse was getting REALLY annoying, so my cousin Adam stuck his hand in the tank and flicked the mouse on the head to knock it out. It was knocked out for about 5 minutes. When it started to come to, it started kicking and having seizures! O_o Adam must have snapped its neck when he flicked it, because the mouse would just kick like crazy and not move its legs. It did 'Curlys' on the floor and was just plain floppin' around! XD So, getting annoyed by that too, we picked it up by the tail and drowned it in the snake's water bowl....O_O Then we set it down so the snake could eat it later. After that we went to the other 11 mice all scurring around and being annoying-like and then one of Isaac's chickens come up to one of them, pecked it up, and ran off with it!! XD After that fiasco, we head back inside and smell something bad... Like something was burning! We run back to the snake tank and find the mouse ON FIRE!!! :O We take care of that quickly, and then we just put another live one in there. :P
